Ugly Stick

Well hello there fellow dater,

     Summer is finally upon us! I hope you guys are all ready for the summer flings and juicy stories to tell your friends! I know I am! Except, I shall always share my juicy stories with you guys. :)

     Getting repeat messages from the same guy over and over again, is a bit obnoxious, right? Now, I understand technology can be annoying at times and not send messages for a myriad of reasons. What I don't understand is why they feel they need to send multiple messages days apart from each other. My record for the most messages received and I never replied? 10. Yea, annoying.

     So now I will bring you to the message(s) I received tonight. This guy sent me 4 messages today. All generally saying the same thing. I finally sent a simple "no" message to him.

He then proceeded to call me a bunch of nasty names ranging from a female dog to the n-word.

Now, granted I should have blocked him at that point, BUT I felt the need to stick up for myself tonight, so I  sent him this...

"You boys sure get feisty when you've been rejected, I do hope you know you're the one who wanted ME so badly all day". 

He then says

 "B*** your lucky I sent you a message, I just felt sorry for your ugly a**" 

I know I'm not the most beautiful swan in the pond and not everyone will find me as angelic and wonderful as I see myself (lol), BUT really now? Let me just add that he was U-G-L-Y!!!!!!

Anyone else have any good stories about a guy flippin' a 180 once you've rejected them?

Till next time!!

Surprise x-mas present for our fellow? 

Yuppie, who?

Well hello there internet world,

      I hope everyone is doing well on this lovely Monday, wherever you are reading this from. It's a nice mid 70's day in Southern California :)

      Anyways, I just wanted to throw a quick post at you. I'm working on a bigger "project" that will (hopefully) be posted by the end of the week.

      Today I open my mailbox to a message from someone who sent me a nice 2 word message...

I think he meant *sell

...Now I am assuming he is referring to my preference in white men. As I said before, I'm use to the insults, but come on now! At least when you're insulting me, use the correct form of the word! 

Typically when I receive messages like that I ignore them, but I felt an obligation to correct his word choice. He had this to say...

Source: UrbanDictionary "Yuppie": An arrogant (usually white) well put together young urban professional. You will likely find them wearing Gucci and Prada and bragging about their large bank account.

Source: UrbanDictionary

"Yuppie": An arrogant (usually white) well put together young urban professional. You will likely find them wearing Gucci and Prada and bragging about their large bank account.

      Let's just break this down a bit. The only thing Gucci or high priced items I own are 2 small bottles of perfume that I bought on SALE at Ross, my bank account has been in the negative for almost three weeks now and I am an after-school tutor. So points "DeNutt" for profiling me, when's the wedding!?!

     Is it sad that I actually get excited when I receive a message that has little to no grammatical or spelling mistakes, with correct puncuation and words that are above the remedial high school level? If that makes me a yuppie, then damn it, bring it on! 

Here's a toast to myself and all of my fellow educated women out there! 

Cheers!

Till next time!  

Twenty Bucks

For the record, I have discontinued all online dating, I was sick and tired of scum. However,I do like to dabble into my friend's dating lives.

This next post comes from a nice fellow who messaged my sister, on Plentyoffish.com. Here is the message:

"So, obviously you passed the aesthetics test or shallow men (such as myself) would never contact you, but a buddy of mine was looking over my should and claimed that - without a doubt - your profile looked to have been written by a guy since its just too perfect, minus the incompletion. He claimed that any account with so little information is a dead giveaway. I came to your defense, of course, but now we've got a $20 bet going as to whether or not you're real or not. So I wonder, just between us, am I about to lose $20??"

I took matters into my own hands and responded:

"Thanks for “coming” to my defense but I do not need anything from someone who is a self proclaimed, generic; jersey shore douche bag, who likely has the personality of a goldfish and only brings in shallow whores that probably give you herpes by the end of the night. So how about you and your pathetic side kick do yourselves a favor and jerk each other off? That way you won’t lose a dime. Clearly, you’re looking for a man to rock your world anyways, since you are too blind to notice real women when it is, literally, in front of your face." 

Oh the beauties of online dating :)

Happy hunting!

Online Dating is like an unexpected and very long game of Monopoly.

Polygamy & Extreme Make-over

Nothing exciting has happened in my dating world…until this morning when the two characters, I will be telling you about shortly, popped up on my computer screen.

I can’t do the incident justice without quoting the message I recieved…

would you be interested in dating a couple? myself and my woman…she is mixed hispanic/black/white…we are NOT lookn for sex…….we are looking for a good woman to bring into our life for the long haul……a committed poly relationship

Seriously…*raises eybrow*…

First of all…the guy who sent me this message is not attractive AT ALL…and the fact that he’s trying to hoard all these woman for this madness he calls a”non-sex, poly relationship” is sick, plain and simple. 

Second…WTF just happened?! I feel like there should be a disclaimer on weird f*ing messages like that, that say…WARNING: This goes against all western social and political norms…viewer discretion is advised.

ICK….

Right as I am getting the above message…another guy sends me a chat request. He doesn’t have a picture which is already a scary thing…I check out his profile…he’s 32, only has a high school education, and no car….wonderful. Winner, winner, chicken dinner! I accept to at least tell him “thanks for the interest, but I’m not interested and good luck”. Well he goes on about how beautiful I am, how I’m probably out of his league (which means he’s fat, and a total loser), and all this other stuff. Just to confirm my theory…I ask for a picture and here’s what I get….

[Insert image of uglistest dude you've ever met here]

  

…Uhhh seriously….smh…

I’m over dating….apparently I’m so ugly, guys like that think they even have a remote chance with me…excuse me while I go stab myself in the eyes now…okay not so dramatic, but really, I need a drink, double strength ;)