First Impression Fail

Hello daters!

First impressions are everything.
How many times has this happened to you?
You get an e-mail that someone has "checked you out" or "messaged" you or clicked the "Meet Me" option.
Then you get curious/excited and click the hyperlink to his profile.
THEN...you get to said destination, read through it; and it's just eh, nothing special or magical, just...meh.
This happens all to often to me. Over the years I have developed a particular annoyance to certain things on men's profiles. This post is dedicated to just a couple of them.

1. Where have we heard that from?

      Does this sound familiar?  "My friends say I have an easy-going personality, I workout, listen to music, watch movies and just chill.." Yup that sure does sound familiar! That's because that's what's written on 70% of profiles on any online dating website whether it is a free or paid site.
Here is how I translate this generic disaster:
"My friend's say I have an easy-going personality"-- I'm socially awkward, please message me! 
"I workout" -- Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, YEA! Oh LMFAO you're one funny group! 
"Listen to music"-- Going to a Nickelback concert this weekend, join me? 
"Watch movies" -- Redbox and I are on a first name basis. 
"Just Chill" -- I'm unemployed, no car with only a high school education and no prospects at a future. I can only afford to "chill". 

2. Theatrics

      Ladies, we have a terrible reputation of being over the top. Yea ok, maybe we over react in a few inappropriate situations. Here is what I have to say about that...get the f**k over it fellas. Blame evolution for the unfortunate combination of hormones that swirl inside of us! Seriously though, guys who feel the need to say "NO DRAMA" in bold letters, all caps and surrounded with an abundance of punctuation, annoy me. The average woman does not live their life like the "Bad Girl's Club" television show. We HATE drama just as much as you guys. Not to mention, do you think a woman is going to read your warning and think, "Well shit, I do love to create drama, so I guess this guy is not for me, he clearly is not into that kind of thing". Yea, no. We don't do that.

3. Under & Over Confidence

      Time and time again science has told the dating world that woman like a man with confidence. Even a hot girl will go for an average looking guy if he is confident in his own skin. However, the catch is not to be OVER confident. We do not respond well to things like:

"Women call me a god, they kiss the ground I walk on. Oh and if you're not a Victoria Secret model, a size 2 with D tits, do not bother messaging me" 

Or

"Women intimidate me 90% of the time. I guess I am a fun guy to be around. Not sure what I want from here, but I'm not expecting much of anything anyways. 

Try to avoid those kind of things in your profiles guys. We want to believe that you're a good man. Who has redeemable qualities like taking care of puppies or helping a blind woman across the street. Not that you're a Jersey Shore wannabe who wants to knock up a Snookie look-a-like or hide behind your Star Trek comic book collection and action figures.
*Note: A comic book or action figure collection is bad ass...JUST don't be ashamed about it, embrace your interests because, NERDS RULE!*

Seriously, I do. 

Till next time! Happy Hunting!