Hello out there,
Ok I know I’ve been MIA, BUT
have no fear…this summer brought out the winner of my dating tragedies…
Site meet on: Plentyoffish.com
It’s memorial day weekend and everyone’s equipped with their
sexiest bikinis and best jersey shore abs to show off at the lake and have a
full day of fun in the blazing sun. I was no exception, except I had a dress
on, the world was not ready for me in a bikini. I was invited to go to a bbq
with this dude I met online, and his buddies. I agreed, since he was a nice
fellow, and I had nothing else to do. My good friend insisted she come also,
just in case he was a crazed serial killer who chops girls up and grills them as his summer sport. She’s a good friend.
We carpooled to his place. I drive through his neighborhood
that was getting progressively worse by the second. We get to his place, and it was defiantly not a looker, and neither was he, but hey who’s judging? He ends up
driving with us and I instantly thought, this will not end well.
We show up to the lake (with many twists and turns due to
his terrible memory) and set up for the day. The three of us start talking, and
his “wonderful” qualities are revealed. No job (awesome), no education (ITT tech does not count), no goals (fantastic). Somehow,
the topic of taxes comes up, and guess what? He doesn’t believe in them! It
progresses to the topic of weed. He doesn’t think weed is so bad, not so bad, that he use to sell it at night clubs.
Fun fact: The cops busted into his house “by accident” and confiscated
his weed. Don’t worry though, charges weren’t brought, phew! At this point I want to hurl myself into the
river and hope a strong current whisks me away.
Luckily (or so I thought), he leaves to find his friends.
Ten-ish minutes later a group of guys and
gals stroll up. One guy looks around and asks me “hey miss, is this Coop's spot”. Confused I respond, “excuse me?" He says "Nate, is this his spot?" I say, “yes”. Now, I wish I can remember
all their names but my memory is stuck on one name, Stomp. Yes, that’s right, his
name was Stomp, it was tatted all over his right arm to show us just how proud
of his gangster life he really was. Everyone else also had a catchy gangster name, but Stomp's was the best.
At this point Nate, aka Coop, was playing football down at
the lake and I was left….alone…hoping I wouldn't become a part of a gang initiation
ceremony. Finally, I hear someone say “...this nigga, left his gun in my car last
week!” and everyone starts laughing…
Uh excuse me but last I checked, leaving an armed weapon in
someone’s car is NOT a laughing matter! I look at my friend, and finally
decided I pushed my luck, way to long! I make up a sorry excuse and tell Coop that I had a emergency and my friend and I had to leave...immediately.
Needless to say we did not end up happily ever after...
Advice: when gangsters roll up on your date, that’s when
you immediately, roll out!
